—The Dark Side—

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

Because three of these films weren’t enough, the CGI version of Alvin and the Chipmunks are back for a road trip. Excuse me, a road chip. (December 23)

Captive

Atlantans will remember the story of Brian Nichols (David Oyelowo), who escaped the Fulton County Courthouse in 2005, killing the judge and a court reporter in the process. This film is based on the memoir of his hostage, Ashley Smith (Kate Mara), and her use of The Purpose Driven Life with Nichols. Prepare for the church crowd. (September 18)

Goosebumps

It’s not an adaptation of any particular R.L. Stine story. No, Goosebumps brings Stine to life, here played by Jack Black. As for his words? They’re less words, and more methods for keeping actual monsters at bay. Yikes. (October 16)

Hotel Transylvania 2

Remember, Adam Sandler leads this film. And while it likely won’t be nearly as toxic as Pixels, it’s still an Adam Sandler movie. (September 25)

The Intern

I want to like this film. I generally am okay with Nancy Meyers. Robert De Niro seems to be having fun, and I adore Anne Hathaway. But lines like the one Hathaway drops in the trailer about “men of yesterday dressed like this, and men of today dress like…ew” (paraphrased, of course) give me pause for concern about the next line being “get off my lawn!” (September 25)

Jem and the Holograms

Some ideas are definite products of their time, and should stay there. Based on the first trailer, Jem and the Holograms is one of those ideas. (October 23)

Pan

Maybe I’ll be proven wrong, but I’m sensing this will be a bomb. Is anyone clamoring for yet another version of a Peter Pan story? They’ve even whitewashed Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara) for this version. At least Hugh Jackman chewing scenery should keep it from being completely boring. (October 9)

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

Let’s hope the rumors are right, and the Paranormal Activity series comes to an end with this film. (October 23)

Point Break

Yet another pointless remake. This update of the Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze film looks like it’ll go for more extreme sports, but honestly, who cares? (December 25)

Sisters

This one’s a bit painful. On the one hand, there’s the combination of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, which is usually promising. On the other hand, the last time these two teamed up for a film, audiences got Baby Mama. And since Fey’s not writing this one, it looks like this could go the way of that previous film. (December 18)